Take A Breath And Feel What Matters
by K.J. Callahan
Summary: The Academy Is... (William/Christine centric). Between gigs and new music and band drama, there's only one thing William really misses these days - her.
1. Chapter 1

**Take A Breath And Feel What Matters**

**A 'The Academy Is...' Fanfiction**

**(William POV)**

"_She'd rather stay here with you, on the laziest afternoons, with you,_" I paused, reading what I'd just wrote.

It seemed everything in the music industry this year had gone to hell – my lifestyle, (damned that I'd chosen it in the first place, the more I thought about it) was the kind that tore apart relationships and broke the best of friendships – and some of them I'd known since high school! Hell, our label was the proof. Panic! At The Disco had split in July, and the fans were just as divided. Paramore had had their troubles, and even Fall Out Boy with their share, particularly due to the new album they'd put out.

_Why did I even –_ I shuddered to think of my family's reaction if all this trouble with the band was to hit our front door. Telling Courtney she wasn't going to be going out with us on tour to take photos wasn't going to sit well with her, photography was her passion, and there was nothing she enjoyed more than watching us perform. And then there was Christine and Genevieve. I knew they'd enjoy having more time with me (instead of me always being on the road, or in the studio like they must always think I am). I mean, we'd taken two weeks off from touring so I could fly home to be with them when Genevieve had been born, but ever since then, I've felt like I've never really been home.

Perhaps Christine knows this better than anyone – she's put up with my hectic schedules since high school, and for that I'm grateful. But whenever I left for a tour, even if it was just a show downtown at the House of Blues, I'd – I knew she had wanted me to stay. Which is why the lines on the paper in front of me, half smudged because I'd been dragging my hand across the paper, as those of us with the lefty curse will do, were now just triggering _something._

Why hadn't I written this on '_Almost Here'_, if the lifestyle had begun to mold me then? Why now, after five years with this band? Was I losing my touch? I sure didn't want to revert to the darker days that was the process of writing Santi, but it seemed – I sighed, frustrated with my thoughts. Setting my pencil down, I stretched and got up. Maybe I'd take a walk. Or, if I brushed my teeth, I'd be lucky enough to have the Big Mess video really happen, and maybe my reflection would have enough common sense to knock me to the floor, like the wakeup call my sanity apparently needed.

"Darling, give it a rest...you've been at that for over two hours now..." a soft voice calls from the doorway, and for a moment, I'm startled, forgetting I'm home for once.

"I wish it were that simple, love." is my only reply as I allow a smile to grace my features as Christine walks herself into my arms, automatically making me wish I had the night with her.

But no, I have to leave for O'Hare at 8, just in time if I want to make the flight.

I can feel her lips against my skin, just soft enough to make me realize she knows I know how she feels. She doesn't want me to go, and I don't want to leave. It's not like I have much of a choice this time.

"Baby, don't go tonight...please...just stay home for once!" she pleads, and it's moments like this where I have to stand my ground.

"Christine, you know I can't. Those tickets weren't cheap."

Whoops. Wrong word, I can tell by the look on her face.

"Ticket, you mean?" she corrects, pulling something from her pocket.

My eyes widen at the slip of paper in her hand - my plane ticket.

"Not funny. Come on, I need that!"

"Oh please Bill, you're acting like a five year old. You've got another three hours before you leave, and you've been packed since Monday! Give it a rest!"

I can tell from the look in her eyes that she's not really made, this is some kind of ritualistic foreplay for her, she wants something to remember while I'm gone.

I sigh, and put a hand under her chin, reaching for the ticket with my free hand.

She squeaks and twists away, throwing the slip of paper to the bookshelf besides the bed.

Knowing her, she's gonna go for the door, try to make a dash for it, like she's a little kid in trouble trying to escape being put into a time out. I swear, at times, she'll remind me of Courtney, which isn't always the best thing.

"I'll give it a rest if you don't run out like you always do, alright?"

She grins, walks back toward me, hand grabbing the tie around my neck and tugging at the knot until its undone.

"I won't run if you promise to relax 'til you have to leave."

I raise an eyebrow, though I know _exactly _where she's going with this.

"You know we have a beautiful two year old sleeping down the hall," I muse as she walks me backwards, we fall onto the bed together, she giggling.

"Who is in the middle of her afternoon nap, don't worry, she's like a rock. She'll wake back up around one or so..."

"Says the woman that can scream louder than most of the fans at shows," I counter playfully, this only earns me a light slap on the shoulder.

"HEY! I'm not that bad!" her fingers work the buttons, one, two, three - I shake my head at the sound of the thin fabric of my shirt tearing, the remaining buttons popping off as her hands move to my belt.

"You were the first time...or don't you remember? It was the anniversary of graduation, I tried to talk you into camping out on the Barrington football field...but no, you insisted we should spend the night in your dad's pickup truck...granted, that truck bed was nice, I would've preferred-"

"Bill."

Her tone has completely changed, from playfully to desperate, and I know I should shut up.

She tugs off my jeans with ease, and for a moment it's as though we're teenagers again, getting used to each other all over again.

"All right, all right. Come here, you."

And sometime later, (I've lost track as to what time it really is) Christine is draped across me, her eyes closed. Her heartbeat has slowed, and mine has as well.

This was a different kind of adrenalin, different from the onstage rush I always got.

I sigh in content, one hand running through her pin straight blonde locks, and momentarily I wonder how Evie ended up with such curly hair.

Oh wait. That was my fault.

I'd had really wavy hair when I was younger, to the point I'm told people constantly miss the hair I had in the old TAI videos such as Hollywood Hills and The Phrase That Pays.

And then how the the fans reacted when I cut my hair shorter, just before the release of Fast Times At Barrington High. And now, when I went even shorter - I'm sure the only one that likes it even now is Christine.

Christine shifted against me, her eyes opening with a yawn.

I smiled, "Morning love..."

"It's not morning...you know I always doze off after you..." she trailed off with a crooked grin, implying I'm to fill in the rest in my head.

I laughed, sometimes she still acted like the high school senior I'd met after graduation.

"And..." she paused, looked to the bookshelf, right at the Game of Thrones book I'd been reading, and tilted her head, putting a finger to her lips before she continued.

"What you did there...with your mouth...is that what the lords do to their ladies in the south?"

If I hadn't already been past that part, I probably wouldn't have gotten the reference. But it was clear - she was being flirty in a way I'd clearly understand.

I smiled, absentmindedly biting my lip, remembering Jon Snow's next line to Ygritte after the two had made love in the hot springs beyond the Wall.

"I just wanted to kiss you there, that's all."

Christine giggled and pulled herself up against me, her head resting on my shoulder.

"I miss this. You have no idea how cold this bed gets with you not here..."

I almost smiled, great, here come the waterworks, the begging me to stay.

"I've some idea. The tour buses aren't anymore comfortable, you know?"

She nodded, her manicured fingers tracing my chest. I closed my eyes - she had no idea how much I missed this, if anything, I missed times like this more than she did.

"William...don't go." I barely pick up my name in her whisper, but her lower lip is trembling and I already know I'm too late. I give her a small smile, the corners of my lips barely turning up as I shake my head.

"Love, we've been through this...you know I have to go. In fact what time is-"

My eyes widen, and I instinctively reach for my phone on the bedside table.

"Fuck." I mumble under my breath as soon as the lock screen lets up, I've got ten missed texts from Chislett and Carden, and three missed calls from Adam.

"Baby, I've gotta get going...the guys are wondering where the hell I am." I say, gently moving her off me so I can get up.

I nearly trip as I tug on a pair of grey jeans, I forgot one of the legs has a hole in it and these are the pair I usually tie a scarf around.

Christine smiled sadly as she stretches back out on our bed, arm tucked under her head. I pull on a grey v-neck and then a jacket over that, then grab my keys and wallet.

"Don't forget your plane ticket." she says, I can tell she's trying not to cry.

I've only been home three days, and I have to leave again.

"I won't. I love you." I have about five minutes to be out the door now.

I leaned down and quickly pressed a kiss to her forehead, grabbed for my ticket on the bookshelf, and took off into the living room, threw my backpack carry on over my shoulder, hiked the handle to my regular luggage up, and looked down the hall.

Genevieve was still sleeping, as Christine had promised. I looked back toward the bedroom, knowing Christine had her face buried in the pillow, and was probably already crying. With a heavy sigh, I pulled open the front door and stepped out.

"_She'd rather stay here, with you, on the laziest afternoons with you."_

Damn my lifestyle.


	2. Chapter 2

**(some four years later)**

"Christine, baby, I have to leave. Doll, I'm gonna be late. Seriously."

William Beckett kept shifting his gaze, one second from the front door, the next meeting the green eyes of his wife, anything to avoid looking at his watch, or any clock, for that matter. She simply shrugged, adjusting the dark jean-jacket on her shoulders, smiling sadly, having been dreading this moment from the minute he'd gotten back home a week prior.

"Can't you just stay one more day? Come on...just tell Josh to tell the house show hosts you're sick. Please?" she begged, and for a moment, he almost wanted to listen to her.

"I can't. The fans- do you know how much they paid? I can't do that, babe."

She huffed, almost like she was annoyed.

"Well if you really have to leave...you owe me one last kiss, hey?" she tried.

She never was this quiet, it was like she didn't even want to be heard. He felt so bad always coming home and then having to leave almost right away. It was like he was teasing her with his presence, but it couldn't be helped if they wanted to earn enough money to keep the home and family afloat. He wished Christine could see it that way like she used to...but he knew how much she missed him, and he as well to her.

He keeps his backpack slung over his shoulder, but sets down the guitar case and uses his free hand to pull her close. He looks into her eyes and snakes his hand up to her hair and cradles her head as he leans in and kisses her. It was a passionate lip-lock, and then he pulls away, smiling while they touch foreheads.

"Oh love, here we go again," William says in a low voice, "You always seem to always keep me longer than I'm supposed to..."

Christine smiles, a glimmer in her eye in hopes that, that meant he was staying another night. He then leans in and kisses her again, standing there even closer to her. They passionately embraced for moments that seemed like they should never end, but then he pulled away again and kissed her on the forehead and whispered, "I have to go."

Christine looked up with him with pleading eyes. "Will... No, please. Please stay..."

His heart was heavy because this was what happened every time he had to leave for a tour, show, etc. He picks up his guitar case and looks her in the eyes.

"Christine, love, we go through this every time... But I won't be gone for too long this time. I'll text you often and call you right before bed as usual."

The look on her face was saying that, that wasn't enough. He sighed and looked at her sympathetically.

"Look, I didn't want to say anything until I got back, but seeing as the difficulty of this situation right now is prompting me to do so. I have a surprise for you when I get back. You're gonna love it, doll."

Christine's face lit up in surprise, "What? What is it?"

William chuckled,"Now now, dearest, gotta keep it a secret, otherwise it's not gonna be a surprise." And by this time, the both of them are talking and walking towards the front door.

"Oh please, oh please give me a hint!" she chirped. He smirked as he turned the knob on the door and opened it, the night air breeze drifting into the house. He turned to her and said,

"It'll be just me and you...hanging on a honeymoon." And with a kiss, he was gone into the night once again.

And knowing her, she couldn't wait to check her phone later that night, even though she knew he'd be home again in about a two weeks, before it started all over again when he left for Warped Tour.

**(Two weeks later, Christine POV)**

Damn, this is getting old. Funny how I should be used to it by now...even sadder how quiet it is around here.

I shouldn't be whining, if anything I should be keeping myself busy in the meantime. It's not like I don't have a way to reach him, he does text when he can and his laptop has a webcam so we can skype some nights. With the way I act when he goes to leave, you'd think I still was the hopelessly-in-love-with-him teenager that had first met him literally a week after high school graduation.

And in some ways, I guess I still am. My heart still skips a beat when I realize I have a new text message, and just thinking about him can make me smile. Then again, who in love doesn't have that happen?

Now that it was summer, Evie didn't have school, so it was nice, spending more time with her. Some days I'd just grab my sketch pads and felt pens and all my art stuff and work outside on the patio while she ran to the swingset, and not five minutes later she'd be singing/screaming the song she and Daddio had wrote at the top of her lungs.

Everything was fine those days, it was like she was the happiest girl in the world - and then there were some nights when she just couldn't sleep for the same reason I couldn't, we both missed him.

She'd always ask to have him sing her to sleep, since it had started just after she was born - sometimes his singing was the only thing could get her to stop crying. On the nights he was gone however, this meant finding whatever CD she felt like listening to and sticking the whole thing on repeat, although sooner or later the same song ended up playing.

Prior to TAI breaking up, her go-to had always been After The Last Midtown Show, but now, with all of the 'new' stuff, we both find that You Never Give Up is actually easier to fall asleep to.

Tonight, I'd had said song playing for her as she stretched out on William's side of our bed (she'd taken to crawling into bed with me whenever he was gone, knowing I missed him just as much as she did), she humming along, my eyes shut and I was pretty sure I was going to finally fall asleep - well, until she started talking.

"Mommy...when's Daddio coming back home?" I blinked, sat up, turned over. So much for sleeping...

"Tomorrow night, sweetheart. Now go on, try to get some sleep. It's late," I said softly, ruffling her hair as she yawned.

She nodded, laid back down with a sigh, and within five minutes, it was . Now I couldn't sleep. So what do I do? I grab my phone, slide open the keyboard and begin typing another text, knowing he's probably still awake.

_To: Bill_

_I can't sleep. Evie just started her usual 'when's Daddio coming home' and I just can't. It's too late for me to be answering her, I need sleep. I just feel like I can't. This house is too quiet, the bed's nowhere near as warm.. If you're still up, text back. If I manage to wake you, I'm sorry. 3_

After clicking send, I meant to close my eyes, hoping I wouldn't somehow manage to fall asleep, that the buzzing on my phone on the nightstand would wake me up. It only was about midnight, but with how much he travelled, I could never really be sure which timezone he was in.

To my surprise, three minutes later my phone buzzed. Huh, he's still awake.

_From: Bill_

_It's alright, love. My flight's delayed, so I'm stuck here in the airport for the night., I've got a 4 AM flight out, I'll just sleep on the plane...good thing the next show is AZ, no time zones. After that show, I've got a later flight into O'Hare. Oh well, eh, if it's like usual, she's probably on my side on the bed, pillow tucked under her arm_

I smiled, glancing at our daughter - without even seeing her, he was right. Evie had the memory foam pillow twisted and tucked under her arm, blanket half off her. And then I realized she had a very familiar shirt on

_To: Bill_

_She's also wearing your Blackhawks jersey...and yeah, that's how she is. She's not the only one that likes how you smell, and as weird as that sounds, your pillow does smell like you. And your clothes.._

The response message only made me shake my head, because I received a picture message of something I hadn't really worn since high school - it was my old letterman's jacket (from swim / tennis and cheer) and he was actually wearing it

_From: Bill_

_Figured you'd like this, considering you didn't even notice it was gone.. You're not the only one that takes comfort in familiar scents - it still carries the slightest hint of your perfume, even after all these years. Boy, do we sound like lovesick teenagers. I'm gonna try and sleep, (though I'm doubting the possibilities). Love you. I'll be home soon._

I smiled, he was right - sometimes we really didn't act our age. I looked over at Evie, and she was out cold. I sighed, typing a final reply.

_To: Bill_

_Alright...you're right. I haven't worn that jacket in - I can't even think of how long, I'm tired. Good luck with that. I'm going to try to sleep too. You know I'll be at the airport when you get into O'Hare. I love you. Goodnight. _

And with that, I put my phone back on the nightstand and turned over, closing my eyes, hoping I could sleep after all

The next morning, Evie managed to sleep in (read: not get up at five AM like most little children do).Most of the day passed quickly, and before I knew it it was time to go pick up William from O'Hare, pending the flight and everything was on time and suc

Car rides to the airport were always fun, Evie and I both couldn't wait to see William again. And even though I knew it probably would be better if I'd let my mom watch Evie for the night while I did the running, I also knew how it felt to not see someone you loved for a long time. That, and there's just something about watching your daughter practically tackling her dad in a hug as he walks out from baggage claim.


	3. Chapter 3

**(Normal POV)**

Even though he was tired, that wasn't exactly going to stop him from letting Christine know how happy he was to finally be home. As soon as they'd gotten home, he'd put Evie to bed (she'd fallen asleep in the backseat on the drive back from O'Hare) and then headed to his and Christine's room, already finding her stretched out on their bed, his heart skipping a beat when he realized she was in new pajamas.

"Wh-when you'd get those?"

She smiled, turned over to look at him, "These? Yesterday...figured I just need more comfy stuff for around the house..." she explained as he took in the light grey pink-logo adorned Aeropostale sweatpants she wore, her white camisole matching the drawstrings of the pants.

"But Aero? That's a little...teenage girl-ish of you, isn't it?" he tried, still confused.

She only laughed, motioning for him to lay down, "As I recall, you were the one with my varsity letterman jacket, so who's acting teenage-ish now?"

He only lightly rolled his eyes at this before he acted, knowing she wanted to know how much he'd missed her.

Remembering how he'd played it at the last house show, William smiled and moved to straddle her, her green eyes widening with surprise as he began to sing softly, already having a plan in mind.

_"Hey, stop on a dime._

_Take both your hands, reach them above, one at a time._

_Are you alone in here? I heard the voice so clearly."_

At the 'hands' line, he reached for both of her hands, lifting them above her head, holding her wrists in one of his own as he leaned down to kiss the side of her face, she smiling and her eyelids fluttering shut as he continued to tease her, still whispering the lyrics between kisses.

_"I tried not to not to speak._

_Clamping my tongue between my teeth._

_Are you alone in here?..."_

He stopped, watching her, eyes opening to reveal her pupils already dilated with lust, mouth barely open in a pout, body completely still in anticipation.

"What, you're just gonna-" and before she could finish her question, he was kissing her. There had been things he'd always missed while he was away - Evie laughing and running around, Scully managing to weasel her way onto the bed in the way that just made it impossible for him to move without kicking her off, the lazy days in the backyard - but most of all, moments like this.

He never wanted to leave her once he got home, but it was his job - _Family, Duty, Honor,_ he mused, the words of House Tully coming to mind.

He could feel her smiling into the kiss, so he decided to change what he was doing in the slightest, his hand holding hers letting go to run down her side, finding her hip with ease, his nails lightly pressing into her skin, causing her to give a soft moan as her hands run through his hair as their kiss deepened, but after a few seconds, Christine turned her head, unlocking their lips, looking almost anxiously towards the door.

Without skipping a beat, William immediately reassured her that Genevieve wasn't going to wake up no matter how loud they got, being she as a baby had managed to quite literally sleep through a few of TAI's rehearsals.

Within seconds their lips had met again, and William had figured out exactly where to take things, though he hadn't expected Christine to pull herself up against him, her lips moving faster than his own as she showered his face and neck with hungry open-mouth kisses.

"Easy, girl. Easy...doll, we're not in highschool anymore, I know you missed me," he stated, still smiling as one of her hands reached for his hair, causing their foreheads to collide.

"You. Have. No. Idea." she replied almost breathlessly, adrenalin already had taken her voice. And from there? Well, William had been right, it was just the two of them - hanging on a honeymoon.


End file.
